Learning how to say “no” to mom guilt is really hard to do for a lot of us moms. Mom guilt is real, and most of us deal with it on a regular basis. You want to go after your dreams, but the kids need you. You want to pursue a new career opportunity, but it may mean having to miss a basketball game or two. When I decided to start my own business, I knew I would have to make a lot of sacrifices. But I also knew that I wanted to create a life that would allow me to do things for my kids, and be there for them in a way that my mom was not able to do.
I made the conscious decision that when I have my kids’ best interest at heart, I’m not allowed to feel guilty. I’m a better mom, and a happier mom when I take time to recharge and reconnect with myself.
But in order to “get over the mom guilt”, we need to understand the basis of it, why we feel it and where it comes from. And here are just a few reasons why mom guilt may occur for you. It occurs when:
- You have multiple children and have to figure out how to divide your time/attention (especially with a new baby).
- When you let your child watch TV or play on their tablet so you can get the dishes done or work on an important project
- When you have to stop at Chick Fil A on the way home from work because you’re just too exhausted to cook
- When you can’t make your child’s field trip or recital because you have a very important client meeting
“Mom guilt is an epidemic that is taking over the world. It needs to stop. We as moms need to get over feeling guilty of doing what’s in the best interest of our children. Feel GOOD not GUILTY!” ~Christine St.Vil
One way to do this is to remind yourself that you are doing what is in the best interest of your kids. When you take time to take care of yourself, to reconnect with yourself, you’re becoming a better mother. When you learn to set boundaries, put yourself back on your calendar or decide you’re more important than leftovers, it means you’re pouring love into yourself, so you can then pour that love back into your family. So why should you feel guilty about that?
Many of you are entrepreneurs, or looking to start/grow your own business. And from experience, I can tell you that if you don’t manage how you deal with mom guilt, it will only keep you from doing what you’re meant to do. When I tell my kids that they can do whatever they put their minds to, I want them to believe it because they see me as the example. And it starts with learning how to say no to mom guilt.
What are some things that keep mom guilt nagging at you? What one step can you take to fight the guilt and applaud yourself when you take time to recharge?