If you missed it this morning, our very own Mom ‘N Charge was featured on Good Morning Washington to share her top 7 tips on How to take charge and F.L.Y.: Loving yourself enough to reignite, rediscover, and reconnect with yourself. As busy moms, this may not always be easy, but definitely necessary. Use these tips to help you along on your journey to FLY (First Love Yourself).
PUSH PAST THE MOM GUILT
This is a tough one, but it’s first for a reason. Mom’s everywhere attest to being better and happier moms when they take the time to recharge and reconnect with themselves. In order to “get over” mom guilt, you need to understand why you feel it and where it comes from. Some of these reasons could be:
- You have multiple children and have to figure out how to divide your time/attention (especially with a new baby).
- Letting your child watch TV so you can get the dishes done or work on an important project
- Having to stop at Chick Fil A on the way home from work because you’re just too exhausted to cook
- When you can’t make your child’s field trip or recital because you have a very important client meeting
PUT YOURSELF ON THE CALENDER
You don’t have to wait until you’ve reached your breaking point before you decide it’s time for you to put yourself back on your calendar. You will be amazed at the wonders it can do for your overall mental health and well-being. Just like batteries don’t last forever (they either have to be replaced or recharged), your ability to continue doing and being everything you need for your family will fade. It doesn’t have to be an extravagant all day event. Yes, a trip to the spa, including a delectable lunch would be amazing, but not always feasible. However you’d be amazed at what a short trip to Target alone can do. And while you’re there you might as well indulge in a Starbucks beverage because… you’re worth it.
TAKE TIME TO RECHARGE
This relates to the previous tip. Just like you can’t get much use of your phone if the battery isn’t charged, you can’t be much to anyone else if you don’t recharge your own batteries. Communicate your needs to your support system (husband, grandparents, friends) and if needed, ask for their help. You’re going to have to start saying no to things, even if you really want to say yes. Saying no isn’t always easy but these wise words from Doreen Rainey might help: Anytime anyone asks you for something (whether it be personal or business), don’t answer them right away if you have a hard time saying no. Say things like, “let me think about it” or “let me check my calendar”. This way you’re not over-extending yourself, allowing time for YOU on your calendar.
Saying no to things isn’t limited to kids activities and PTA requests, it also includes requests from your friends and family. Sometimes those birthday parties, baby showers, weddings, and graduation invites have to go unattended. Not saying ALL of them, but pick and choose. Don’t feel obligated to attend everything and anything when it comes to someone in your family or close friends. Attending these events shouldn’t be adding undue stress, and if you find that it is, then maybe you should sit that one out. This doesn’t mean you love your friends or family any less. It means you love yourself more. Love yourself enough to know when you need a break.
STOP SERVING YOURSELF LEFTOVERS
Although this can sometimes be applied to food (I might be the only one who doesn’t like cold, left-over pizza, lol); this actually refers to your time, energy, and attention. It is not okay to give everyone else everything you have and then try to survive off of what’s left. That’s how you get burnt out and stressed out. Lisa Nichols teaches about serving from your overflow, which you can read more about here. One way to do that is learning to say no, which we learned in the previous tip.
TAKE OFF YOUR SUPERMOM CAPE
I believe we as moms are downright incredible and possess some very special super powers (I like to call it God). We can multitask like no one’s business, and make it look like we’re sailing on a cruise ship sipping on a glass of Moscato. We can make things look so easy to the people looking in from the outside, that they have no idea what to call us other than Supermom. One of the things we tend to do however, is forget that we are not indestructible and that we have the ability to take our capes off. We actually have the responsibility to learn to take the cape off. We have to start getting comfortable with asking for help instead of always painting the picture that “I got this”.
DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF
I’m sure you’ve crossed paths with the mom that likes to throw out all of the over-achieving activities that her kids are participating in. She’s the mom that will only share how great her kids are and never share the not-so-great things. She’s the one that will make YOU feel guilty for not enrolling your kids in Spanish classes at the age of 3 months. However, you know what’s best for your kids, so don’t allow someone else’s opinions of what you do/don’t do have an impact on your overall rating of yourself as a mother. Do you. Be you. Love you. While motherhood is a community, we are all individual and independent of one another. So please stop comparing yourself.
There you have it! As you see, learning to FLY is not rocket science. And although it’s simple, it may not be easy at first. But you’re worth it, so give it a go.
Here is the full segment from Good Morning Washington:
Which of these tips have you found to be (or think would be) the hardest?