It’s been a reeeeeealy long time since I wrote a blog post. Gosh, life man. It’s funny how you don’t do something for so long, but when you actually put your fingers on the keyboard, it just kind of comes back to you. I missed it though, I won’t lie. Feels good to be typing again.
Since I’ve been gone, I’ve been busy, to say the least. As you moms know, especially with little ones, there’s always something going on. This semester actually my youngest one started kindergarten, so now ALL my boys (yes, I have 4) are in school. And as good as it feels to know that they’re growing up, I’m now busy with school stuff like parent-teacher meetings for 4 kids. Yeah…I know.
In other news, well not really news per se, but I’ve been a single parent for almost 2 years now and I pretty much swore never to make mention of it on any public forum because….not sure why. Not that I’m ashamed, although having 2 failed marriages under my belt isn’t exactly something I would brag about. But despite it all, and at the somewhat “tender” age of 36, I’m still standing. Like the bible says, what the devil meant for evil, the Lord will turn around for my good.
I think part of my hesitation for speaking on this topic is because I don’t want to speak badly about my children’s dad and so I felt I couldn’t really say much about anything, so why say anything at all. But not being free to just being honest hindered me from writing about anything at all. Y’all have no idea how freeing writing this post is. I know I love writing but felt that I couldn’t because I had to be this uber positive and uber fake lady when in reality, all I’ve got to be is me. That’s even what my alias AbsolutViolette is all about, being me, 100%, unapologetically, and authentically so. But like with most things in life, it’s all a process and I had to allow myself to go through the process.
And therein lay part of my issue, I’m not always the most patient person in the world, lol. So I was just frustrated that the process took more than 2 days. Like really Lord, we need to be in this for going on 2 years?!! But He knows best, right? I’m just happy to be writing again 🙂
Also Related: Motivational Monday: The Need to Encourage Yourself
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
Our individual journeys are just that, our own. And realizing that it’s ok that my life doesn’t look like so-and-so’s is something I’ve not only had to come to terms with and accept, but also embrace. That last bit was tough. Like how do I embrace something I despise or wish never happened? Knowing that at the end of the day it has and will shape me into being a better me is how. How does pain make you better you ask? For me, it’s knowing that I can survive through it. I’m not as fragile as I thought, lol.
For the record, it sucks! All of it, dealing with the aftermath, your physical health, your mental health, your emotions…all of it. Actually dealing with it sucks! But what other choice do you have? Life will make you deal with it one way or another cause if you don’t you’re gonna be stuck in life. It can manifest itself in a number of different ways, for me part of it was not being able to write. Which might seem minor to some, but writing is my thing, so it hindered a lot. I literally switched-up side-hustles altogether, lol. (Thank God for a little creativity). And again, this is another way which I grew from my experience, but at the end of the day, I had to come back to being ME.
There’s a lesson in there somewhere
So all that said, I don’t know if what I wrote flowed, made sense, or is coherent, I just know I had to get it out. As the words came to me is how I typed them. This may resonate with someone or it may not. Hey, if the MNC community is made of happily-ever-after married couples, I’m just happy to be in your midst. And happy for your prosperous marriages as well (see I can say that now and mean it and not be jealous) 🙂 But if there’s just one of you out there who’s been through it, this is my cyber bear-hug to you. You’re stronger than you think, you’ll get through this, troubles won’t last always, and it’s ok to NOT be ok right now. Your happy days await. Until then…enjoy the happy moments, however shortlived, cause this too my dear, shall pass.