Why Poop in the Potty Brought Me to Tears

When I had my first born, we were eager to get him potty trained and out of diapers. Everyone says boys are the hardest, but he was in fact the easiest of the three and was potty trained at 18 months. He regressed some when number two was born but got right back on track. Number two on the other hand…woosaaaahhh…she gave us a run for our money! She regressed three or four times and then finally was potty trained at almost three, just in time to start school. She would deliberately refuse to use the potty and part of it was our fault as we also tried to force it on her, which backfired on us. So they say third time’s the charm. Well, I was in no rush to find out. Maybe it’s because potty training creates a new level of mess that I don’t necessarily care to partake in (there are just some things I refuse to clean, and one of them are poop streak hashmarks in underwear or poop on the floor…or really poop anywhere that it’s not supposed to be). Or maybe it’s because deep down I was feeling like this would officially mean she is no longer “my baby”.

Today I had to officially force myself to come out of denial. Although I’ve been wanting to keep holding her as if she were still the little peanut I brought home from the hospital almost two years ago; although I still want to feed her when she’s perfectly capable of feeding herself; although I refuse to turn her crib into a toddler bed because I want to be able to carry her out of it; although I decided not to push the potty training thing because I.just.wasn’t ready…it’s happening. She came and got me and told me she had to use the potty. She’s been using it off and on for #1 so this wasn’t anything new. But I sat her on the toilet and then it happened. She pooped. I literally saw the last two years flash before my eyes.  My baby girl is officially a big girl now (*insert dramatic ugly cry here*).

Brielle all grown up 2

I was not expecting to be so emotional over poop, but I was. And she looked at me like I was crazy, high-fiving and crying at the same time. Maybe it’s because we had such a rough start in the first couple of months, with separate week-long stays in the hospital for excessive jaundice and blood transfusions (which resulted in multiple trips back for blood draws for the first nine months). When I think about those exhausting and stressful days, it amazes me. She’s gone from this sickly and clingy baby (she wouldn’t go to anyone BUT mommy for a long time) to this healthy, spunky and independent almost-two-year-old. According to her, she’s the boss of her big brother and sister. All I can do is thank God for the joy and laughs she brings to my life.  No, we still don’t plan on having any more kids. But now I truly understand what moms mean when they say they miss the baby stage. I now understand the true meaning of “cherish their childhood because they grow up so quickly”. And now I also understand why the youngest child in most families is almost always the most spoiled rotten. She is definitely my “forever baby”.

For those that have older kids, what do you miss most about the baby stage? If you are waiting on little ones or currently have little ones, what stages are you looking forward to the most?

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  • Rachael Gibson
    May 7, 2013 at 4:28 PM

    Christine, what a great post! I can definitely relate to this post. With my son I was so anxious and excited to start potty training. We started when he turned 2 but he still wasn’t potty trained until 3.5. With my daughter who just turned 2 in April, its been a different story. I have no interest in rushing the process. Its very hard seeing how fast she’s growing up. I personally love the baby stages and seeing her become more and more independent everyday tugs at my heart. So I know that I’m probably also going to break out in the ugly cry the day she poops in the toilet too. LOL

    • Christine St.Vil
      May 9, 2013 at 5:07 AM

      Thanks so much Rahael! hahaha My only advice to you is to have the tissues ready! I’m going to look into buying some stock in Kleenex 🙂 Good luck with the potty training, but she’ll let you know when she’s ready 🙂

  • T. Espinoza
    May 7, 2013 at 4:35 PM

    Bwahahaha! #uglycry
    I can’t say that I’ve felt that way but hubby could probably relate as he was trying to keep our youngest in diapers (he’s almost 3). I definitely understand missing the baby stages though. My five year old used to be so cuddly…not so much anymore. I’m gonna be a wreck whenever the “baby” decides he’s not interested in giving mommy extra hugs anymore.
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    • Christine St.Vil
      May 9, 2013 at 5:09 AM

      LOL yes my theme hastag now will be #uglycry T and you’ll knwo exactly what I’m referring to. Oh the hugs, the hugs I don’t ever want those to go away! Thankfully, they all still give those very freely. I wish there were a way to store them for safe keeping and later use. Hmmmm…lol

  • Crystale
    May 7, 2013 at 4:48 PM

    AWWWWWWWWW! What an adorable story. 🙂

  • Mary K
    May 7, 2013 at 8:05 PM

    Oh goodness, you almost made me cry and want to jump into the screen and high five baby girl too. Thanks for the honesty and humor and give her a big congratulatory hug for me. Wish I could tell you that it gets easier (i.e. her 1st day of school is probably going to be just as emotional as the 1st pooping business episode LOL) but what will keep you strong is to know that as a parent you are just a vessel and that as you watch your blessings grow and blossom it’s a sign of yours and Phil’s faithfulness to the ministry of parenthood.

    • Christine St.Vil
      May 9, 2013 at 5:10 AM

      LOL Thanks Mary! I will definitely give her the high five and hug for you…without breaking into the #uglycry this time. Thank you for those beautiful words of encouragement as I’m sure I will definitely need to look back on them.

  • Rani
    May 7, 2013 at 9:09 PM

    YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s FANTASTIC!!! I can feel the joy. Nearly brought me to tears! XO

  • kim arrington
    May 7, 2013 at 10:21 PM

    Ahhhh I totally get it…and have been holding back my emotions for weeks now…Jamel will be 6 tomorrow and now that he’s such a big boy, I miss him needing me for everything. ..

    • Christine St.Vil
      May 9, 2013 at 5:12 AM

      Awww Kim I completely understand that! Wow 6 is a big boy number and my “baby” will be there in September. Oh boy…be prepared for another #uglycry post. LOL Happy birthday to Jamel! 🙂

  • Liza Barra
    May 8, 2013 at 6:07 AM

    Your story actually brought tears to my eyes. And, ummm, down my cheeks, too. I have conflicting emotions every time my youngest two (twin girls) hit a milestone. Like I was ok with them holding their own bottle, and I was happy for them when they started walking, and I’m sure I’ll be ecstatic when they are potty trained, but I also feel like a small part of my mommy experience ends each time they start doing something new on their own because they are my last.

    • Christine St.Vil
      May 9, 2013 at 5:14 AM

      Awww sorry Liza didn’t mean to get the tears flowing but I’m sure it wasn’t the #uglycry though. LOL “I also feel like a small part of my mommy experience ends each time they start doing something new on their own because they are my last.” Yup, that pretty much sums up the emotion of what brought on my #uglycry to begin with. *sigh*

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