4 Self-Care Tips All Moms Can Learn From Tamar Braxton

There aren’t a lot of stars that I keep tabs on or even write about here on the blog. But I’ve really grown to love Tamar Braxton over the last couple of years, especially since the start of The Real (seriously, what’s not to love about that show?). And then she hit that Dancing With the Stars stage, and I was slow clapping and standing ovationing (yes) after almost every performance. I mean, she was killing it left and right!

What was initially thought to be pneumonia turned out to be something more serious — several blood clots on either side of her lungs. Naturally, the first thing I thought when I heard the news was her family, her adorable son and amazing husband Vince (who went through a similar health scare). I thought about how worried they must’ve been for her.

On top of being forced to quit Dancing With the Stars, she also had to cancel her 9-city tour with singer, Kem. My heart goes out to Tamar and her family, and I’m praying for a full, speedy recovery.

But I say there are always lessons to be learned. Here are 4 self-care tips all moms can learn from Tamar Braxton:

It’s okay to say no

It may seem painful at first, even scary. But I’ve learned that we are always in choice. If you have too many things on your plate, then you’re the only one with the power to remove, redirect or replace those items. No is a complete sentence and it’s okay to use it as often as you need to. Unfortunately, in this case Tamar had to do it from her hospital bed. Don’t feel guilty for saying no, especially when your health is at stake.

Being superwoman can [almost] kill you

Supermom, superwoman, it’s all a myth. There is no such thing. And if you try to believe that you possess the powers to do it all, be it all and be everywhere at the same time, it will only put your health at risk. Tamar had a lot on her plate, and while we all know she was kicking a$$ at all of it and juggling those balls as best she could…eventually, the balls dropped. Thank God it didn’t cost Tamar her life, but it could’ve. Setting boundaries with your family and friends will help keep you from feeling the need to be superwoman.

Listen to your body

Your body is a great indicator of when you need to slow down, pause for the cause, and recharge. There is only but so much our bodies can take, and if we pile on too much at once, eventually, it will quit on us and force us to take a break. Don’t wait until you’re forced, give your body the love it deserves now.

Learning to FLY (First Love Yourself) is a critical practice

I talk about self-care so much because I know what it means when I’m not taking care of myself. It’s not just me that reaps the consequences, but my entire family. When you’re not taking care of yourself, eventually you’ll be forced to do it, and usually it’s at the most inconvenient time. When you take time to pour love into yourself, everyone benefits from that. Self-care is not selfish. Self-care is a necessity. If it’s not already, it should become a non-negotiable.

With all the demands from your career, family or business, how do you find time to make self-care a priority?

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18 Comments

  • Reply
    Jennifer Bay
    November 16, 2015 at 9:19 AM

    What great tips for any mom!!! I especially love the one Being supermom can almost kill you! I feel like that most days. Thanks so much for sharing.

    • Reply
      Christine St.Vil
      November 16, 2015 at 3:59 PM

      Thanks Jennifer! I decided long ago that I would not hold on to my supermom cape because that is when I am in a state of overwhelm and frustration.

  • Reply
    Mimi Green
    November 16, 2015 at 9:46 AM

    This was a big reminder for me. I love The Real and I watch The Braxton’s & Tamar & Vince.

    As Moms we’ve got to stop putting our health last. That Super Mom cape isn’t cute if you are wearing it in the hospital.
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    • Reply
      Christine St.Vil
      November 16, 2015 at 11:40 PM

      You hit the nail on the head Mimi. I think society glorifies the supermom cape too much.

  • Reply
    kita
    November 17, 2015 at 12:24 AM

    I try to do it all myself and sometimes I just have to stop. I am so busy chasing money because I don’t want to be broke but if I am sick I can’t make anything so I have had to slow down myself.
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  • Reply
    Bernetta
    November 17, 2015 at 11:18 AM

    I love Tamar!! Love her. I met her at Essence last year and she was so polite. I watched this season just because of her too. My heart broke for her & believe she could have went all the way. I pray she does a full recovery so she can continue to be fab!! And yes, we have to take care of ourselves!! Great tips
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  • Reply
    Antoinette
    November 17, 2015 at 6:35 PM

    I love Tamar as well, and was sad to hear of her health scare. You are so right. We often take care of everyone around us and neglect ourselves. It’s so important that we make ourselves a priority.

  • Reply
    Nancy
    November 17, 2015 at 7:10 PM

    I cringe at the superwoman complex and have had to work hard to let that go! I make time but being firm with myself…It has to be done because I cannot help anyone if I am killing over dead!

  • Reply
    Bree
    November 17, 2015 at 9:01 PM

    I love the concept of FLY! As a therapist, I have reminded many parents how to be the best parent they can be they have to take care of themselves first. Right now, I could be better at practicing self care. With my flexible schedule, I sometimes take advantage and sleep in, loosen up about when and how things will get done- ultimately just slow things down. Every once and awhile I’ll give myself a night off- even if I know there are things to do. You just need to unwind sometimes!
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    • Reply
      Christine St.Vil
      November 25, 2015 at 4:17 PM

      Yesssss love it Bree! I think that’s the key: to slow things down and not feel like we have to go 100 mph all the time.

  • Reply
    FabEllis
    November 17, 2015 at 9:23 PM

    Yes to all of this! Self-care is so vital. It’s crazy to me now to think that I’ve had trouble saying no in the past. We try to do so much and for everyone and oftentimes put ourselves last. I’ve definitely learned over the past few years to just simply say no sometimes. One way I give myself some self time is by taking myself out to lunch. I enjoy sitting in my car or eating alone at a restaurant. It’s one of my favorite things to do during the week.
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  • Reply
    Tyra
    November 17, 2015 at 10:34 PM

    I have been so focused I have been neglecting myself. I am gong to make sure to take some time for myself over the holiday weekend and recoup. So important!
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  • Reply
    AC Mims
    November 17, 2015 at 10:57 PM

    This post highlights how crucial it is for us to practice self-care. When we don’t, it can wreak havoc on our bodies that’s too hard to reverse. I’m not saying this is what happened to Tamar, but our lack of self-care can have negative effects on us. And if Tamar hadn’t listened to her body, no telling where she would be now.
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  • Reply
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    November 18, 2015 at 3:52 AM

    […] passed out from exhaustion, or worse, laying in a hospital bed. We have to do a better job with taking care of our one self we were gifted […]

  • Reply
    LaShawn
    November 18, 2015 at 6:06 AM

    I was so sad to hear why she had to leave Dancing with the stars! But like I told a friend recently: never feel guilty about taking care of yourself! We can’t be supermoms, superwives and super business owners if we are not healthy!
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    • Reply
      Christine St.Vil
      November 18, 2015 at 2:15 PM

      Me too LaShawn! I just KNEW she was going to take that DWTS win! Great advice to your friend!

  • Reply
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