The Emotional Stages of a Single Mom

Single mom parenting emotions

Do you really want to be a Single Mom? What does your mind tell you? I don’t think anyone of us woke up one morning and said, “My desire is to have kids and do it alone!” Can you honestly answer the question and be okay with your answer? Being a single mom may be one of the hardest things to do, (I wanted to say job, but many don’t look at being a mom as a job) especially when you love your kids with all your heart and soul; but when you are doing the role of mommy and daddy it can seem like a job.

Does it mean you don’t want to be a mom, better yet a single mom? No, but it will shed some light on any issues you are covering up and not willing to face. I know. I have been there and it wasn’t pretty for many years. I was upset, and I was angry, and it held me hostage; why did this have to happen to me? Why did I have to endure this journey by myself? While it does get hard at times; this is a journey that has really changed my life and opened my eyes. You find out so many of your strengths and weaknesses and how much you really can endure. Your mind will have you thinking some stuff and it will send you on a mission. These are some of the issues I had going on inside that showed on the outside. Maybe you can relate?

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I Felt Rejected
I really felt rejected! Not only by him but others around me. People treated me different like I had the plague or something. Sometimes I would tell myself: “you may have left him but did he really want to be here in the first place?” It took me years to finally forgive myself for thinking I was the problem; yes I made the choice to get in the relationship but I didn’t sign on for the mistreatment or the disrespect. When a father leaves his children and doesn’t look back; it’s like a slap in the face. I finally got over that and I’m here to tell you, so can you!

I Felt I Was to Blame
I would blame myself because he was no longer there. What did I do? I should have treated him better. I could have done what he asked of me. Does any of this sound familiar? If so please stop! You or I didn’t do this, and we as women shouldn’t have to lower ourselves or our standards to please anyone! Especially someone that doesn’t and didn’t appreciate us! It may not seem like it now but being a single mom isn’t a curse; just a journey many of us will have to endure.

I Have a Choice
We have to remember we do have a choice between life and death; what do you choose? I chose life and I have never looked back; my children and I matter and I want better. What about you? You are the only one that can make the decision; you know just what you can or can’t handle. And more importantly, what you deserve.

For the single moms out there, what emotional stages did you go through?

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3 Comments

  • Jessica
    March 18, 2016 at 6:25 AM

    Great article!!! I can relate to all stages. I also want through a stage when I tried to run away from my responsibilities by partying more and seeing them less but thank God He turned me around!!

  • Shantae Pelt
    March 18, 2016 at 10:56 AM

    Such a insightful and heartfelt read . As a single mother myself, I understand . The roller coaster of emotions is perfectly normal. Yet we must realize and embrace we are just as capable of raising well rounded, whole children . Create a network of support, and keep your chin up mommies .

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