Do You Know Your Love Language?

For the last two weeks, I have been geared up and excited to tune in to watch Oprah’s Lifeclass with Dr. Gary Chapman, author of “The Five Love Languages”. Dr. Chapman is a Pastor, Speaker and Author, and this book has appeared over 283 times on the NY Times best sellers list (now THAT is a whole lot of times)! I have heard dozens of stories (including some last night) of couples whose marriages were saved because of this book. If you didn’t get to catch it, check out the video below to see a very small clip of what you missed.

In this video, Dr. Gary Chapman discusses: How to Keep Your Partner’s Love Tank Full

Were you and your partner once madly in love? Are you now feeling more like roommates? Audience member Christine says the spark between her and her husband, Brad, is long gone. Watch as Dr. Gary Chapman offers this couple advice and discusses the two stages of love in all relationships. Plus, find out how you can keep your partner’s “love tank” full.

Words of affirmation: Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words “I love you” are important – hearing the reasons behind that love send your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Just last week I wrote an article for Black and Married with Kids titled, “Are the Words ‘I Love You’ Really All That Important?” And from watching the show last night, the answer to that is it really does depend on your own particular love language. My love language is Words of Affirmation (I have something in common with Oprah! 😉 ). So as you can see from the description above,  it absolutely is important to me. But I also learned last night that most people give their spouse and their loved ones (because this applies to all relationships across the board) the love language that they want in return, and not necessarily the love language that person needs/wants. I can definitely see how true that is even in my own marriage because my husband’s love language is Physical touch.

Physical touch: This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face – they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

If you don’t already know your love language, do yourself, your spouse/partner and family a favor and find out today! This could very well be the best Valentine’s Day gift you could ever give them. Take a few minutes to answer the questions below so you can understand which of the 5 Love Languages you possess, and what it actually means:

  1. Words of Affirmation
  2. Quality Time
  3. Receiving Gifts
  4. Acts of Service
  5. Physical Touch

*The electronic love language test below can only be viewed through a laptop or desktop computer and not through a mobile or other similar device (sorry)*

To get more in depth information about each particular love language, you can purchase your copy of the book by Dr. Gary Chapman.

What is your love language? How will knowing this help you in your relationships in the future?

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  • Dee
    February 11, 2013 at 9:05 PM

    Having been married for coming up on 20 years, I can attest to the fact that love languages must be learned. The goal is to love our spouse the way THEY can receive love, not necessarily the way we like to show it to them;-)

    • Christine St.Vil
      February 11, 2013 at 9:30 PM

      Thanks Dee! We are coming on year 8, so congrats to you and your husband on approaching the 20 year mark. What a blessing! 🙂

  • Janeane Davis
    February 11, 2013 at 10:27 PM

    This was a nice article. After being married 23 years next month I can safely say that the language of love may vary person to person and may even change over time. It is important to communicate so you know what your partner wants in terms of the language of love.
    Janeane Davis would like you to check out…Love Taking Action, Because Faith Without Work is DeadMy Profile

  • Saidah
    February 12, 2013 at 12:00 AM

    I watched Dr. Chapman five part marriage series with my husband and several other couples. There’s a lot of good stuff in the series.

    If you can get your hands on the book that’s a great place to start.

    • Christine St.Vil
      February 12, 2013 at 12:08 AM

      Thanks Saidah! Yes, we just started reading the book but I will definitely look into the 5 part marriage series. Thank you!

  • Chasing Joy
    February 12, 2013 at 5:11 AM

    I am single and my love language is Physical Touch. I suspect that could change once I am married. My lowest number was in gifts. I don’t think that will change. Though presents are fun.
    Chasing Joy would like you to check out…Valentine’s Day Gift, Free Love Joy Printable BookmarksMy Profile

    • Christine St.Vil
      February 13, 2013 at 4:22 AM

      I’m with you. My lowest number was in gifts as well. Love getting them but I actually have more fun giving them and surprising people with them 😉

  • Heather H.
    February 16, 2013 at 3:19 AM

    My love language is definitely Words of Affirmation. Gifts is also the lowest on my list.

  • Joyce@MommyTalkShow
    February 16, 2013 at 3:49 AM

    I think the next time I’m invited to a wedding or hear about an engaged couple, I will get them this book.
    I haven’t read it – but I’ve heard great things about it.
    Joyce@MommyTalkShow would like you to check out…The Worst Date Ever! #VlogMomMy Profile

    • Christine St.Vil
      February 20, 2013 at 2:52 PM

      That is exactly what I said Joyce! Definitely download a copy on Kindle or get it on Amazon 🙂

  • Hanifah Munadi
    February 16, 2013 at 4:48 AM

    Although gifts are nice, truth and honesty is the ultimate ecstasy for me. Words make people and when it’s all said and done words are all we have that is of value. Thanks for sharing. In my way of life, no sort of intimate contact, even holding hands is done prior to marriage. If you’re interested in receiving more details feel free to contact me, Christine.
    Hanifah Munadi would like you to check out…The Different Types of Affiliate MarketingMy Profile

    • Christine St.Vil
      February 20, 2013 at 2:48 PM

      Hi Hanifah! Thanks so much for sharing, I greatly appreciate your input. That’s so true, how important and how much weight our words hold.

    February 18, 2013 at 6:42 AM

    I have always loved this book! Its applicable to all types of couples, new and seasoned. I’m so happy I own. I actually refer to it at times. Great article!!! would like you to check out…7 Ways To Flirt With Your Man!My Profile

    • Christine St.Vil
      February 20, 2013 at 2:45 PM

      Thanks for sharing Sheree! This book is now on my list to give away as bridal shower and wedding gifts. It is so powerful!

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