This past May, my sister and I released our first book, Whose Shoes Are You Wearing? 12 Steps to Uncovering the Woman You Really Want to Be. And recently, I’ve realized that finding your God-given shoes is critical to a happy marriage. The book is all about learning to walk in, and own your greatness. It’s about being truly happy with the woman you are and the shoes that you’re walking in, instead of trying to fit into shoes that were not made for you, or shoes that you feel society is telling you to wear. It’s about self-discovery and self-acceptance. It’s a movement, a journey and an experience.
When my sister and I decided to write the book, it was a humbling exercise and constant reminder that it wasn’t about us. In order to be truly authentic with our audience, we had to be willing to let our guards down and to share some things that we hadn’t shared with anyone else. For me personally, it was just as much of a healing experience as we hope it will continue to be for the women who read it.
When I literally walked through different stages in my life, particularly the ones that were the hardest or most difficult to overcome, I realized that I was trying to live up to someone who I didn’t even want to be. When I founded Moms ‘N Charge it was because I had lost myself and sense of identity. I wasn’t happy about who I was and didn’t realize at the time how my unhappiness was affecting my marriage. But I knew that it was time to take charge of my life again, and I wanted to help other moms to do the same.
I’ve talked about the importance of being a happy wife (which in turn, leads to being a happy mom) and how that starts with you. But part of being a happy wife is understanding what makes you happy? What makes you tick?
Who is the happy, motivated and care-free person you used to be before you were married? (Or if you were never there, then that’s a whole other post for a different day.) How do you take time out to celebrate yourself? How do you take time out to spend on cultivating your goals and dreams?
What I learned was that not being fulfilled was a big factor in my lack of happiness. I wasn’t unhappy with my husband or in my marriage. But because I wasn’t happy in general, it began to have an affect on my marriage. So I had to learn how to put myself back at the top of my list of priorities. Some may call it selfish but I call it self-love and self-care.
If you’re frustrated or miserable with your life outside of your marriage (your job or business), then chances are, it’s affecting your marriage and you’re not walking in your God-given shoes.
Chances are, like many of us do, you’re walking in shoes that you’ve either outgrown or shoes that you borrowed from a friend (or maybe even an idol).
Chances are, you haven’t found the shoes that were meant for you. And you have to be comfortable and happy in your own shoes, in order to be comfortable and happy in your marriage.
Now that I’ve finally found my right shoes, I know I’m a better and happier person. My husband supports me and my heart melts when he tells me how proud he is of me. He sees how happy I am which only makes him happier.
Comment Below: How has walking “in your own shoes” strengthened your own marriage?