3 Difficult Marriage Conversations You Can’t Ignore, and 6 Ways to Initiate Them

Let’s face it. There’s no way to avoid having difficult marriage conversations at any given time throughout your marriage. And while things like finances, communication, and spirituality, are high on the list of hot topics to discuss regularly in your marriage, there are some topics that most don’t even want to think about or confront. But a real marriage requires real communication. You can’t work through your differences or be clear about each others’ needs and wants through e-mails, text messages or Facebook messenger. No, difficult marriage conversations require you to speak to each other directly. Recently, hubby and I had a rare moment where we were watching TV, and three conversations came out of watching one show. Here are 3 difficult marriage conversations you can’t ignore. 

1. Advance directives & living wills

God forbid something happens to you or your spouse that leaves either dependent on life support and feeding from tubes for the rest of their life, or in need of extensive medical treatment. Do you know what decision your spouse would want you to make in that difficult moment? No one ever wants to think of the worse case scenario. But, being clear about what each of you wants would make a difficult process a little more manageable with clear direction and wishes. 

2. Sexual likes and dislikes

Just as we grow in the person we become over time and throughout marriage, it’s likely that what we liked five years ago, we may not be too interested in now. But guess what? We’ll never know if we’re not having the conversation and asking the question. Make time to check in regularly when it comes to your sexual interests. But make sure you’re realistic and sensitive to your spouse’s wants, needs and perspective. 

3. Marriage goals

This may sound a little crazy, at first, but when was the last time you sat down with your spouse to go over your life goals together? What do you see in your future? Where do you want your family to be in the next 1, 3, 5 or 10 years from now? Have you broken down your goals into categories that you can work on together (i.e. finances, health, parenting, leisure, career or business)? Talking about your marriage dreams and goals and how you can work on them together will go a long way.

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  • Edna Nakalungi
    August 14, 2014 at 1:06 PM

    How insightful!

  • Christine in Progress
    February 23, 2016 at 2:58 PM

    Great tips! Advance directives was the most difficult for my husband and I to address. I must admit its been a while since we reviewed that subject. Things change and its probably important to see if we are still on the same page. Thanks for re-sparking this discussion.

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