C: What advice do you have for thriving in a successful marriage, while also being able to juggle your family and career?
JANEANE: The first thing that worked for us is that we had premarital counseling at church before we got married. It taught us that it’s the ‘two of you against the world’. Nobody else comes first – not his mommy, not your mommy, not your daddy. It’s the two of you against the world. When you realize the two of you are a team, you work together. Then the children come after the spouse. The children are going to eventually grow up and leave you. And then the two of you will still be stuck looking at each other [laughter]. So my advice is to remind people that you and your spouse are a team. So maybe today it’s my job to watch the kids so that you can go and meet a client, and vice versa. In a team, you fill in where you’re needed.
The other thing is that any dream I ever had, my husband made it his dream as well. So when I was trying to go to law school, he was very supportive. When I was worried I wouldn’t get in, he said, ‘Look, if you can spell your name, they’ll accept you into the University of Puerto Rico. We can go live in Puerto Rico because I know you can spell your name’ [Laughter]! His position has always been to support me in whatever my dreams were, and I do the same for him. And every once in a while, I’ll kiss up to him for no reason, even when he doesn’t deserve it. I do it because it makes him feel good.
8 Comments
Cocoamommy
December 5, 2012 at 2:28 AMJaneane all around great advice on balancing work,marriage and kids. I just had the same conversation tonight. Cool that your kids have their own blogs, my son loves to write so you just gave me an idea. I loved the interview definitely inspiring! Bravo, Shades, Bravo
Christine St.Vil
December 6, 2012 at 4:31 AMI completely agree Cocaomommy! She is doing some awesome things, and so glad she shared all of her great advice with us.
T. Espi
December 5, 2012 at 2:41 AMAwesome interview. I can only imagine what that conversation was like LOL. I love that all of your kids have blogs. I’d love more info about how the five year olds do with that. I have a five year old and the child never. stops. talking. If I could get him to put some of those words somewhere else I can only imagine how much quieter my nights might be *dare to dream* LOL
Christine St.Vil
December 6, 2012 at 4:29 AMLOL. I really liked the idea of the kids…especially the 5-year-olds…having a blog. I will definitely start one for my son. I think it would be a fun thing for us to do together. 🙂
Hanifah Munadi
December 5, 2012 at 5:13 AMBeautiful interview. Powerful Sister. True testimony of will and determination.
Christine St.Vil
December 5, 2012 at 4:06 PMThanks so much Hanifah! She really is an inspiration and it was my pleasure to interview her.
Uneeka Jay
December 9, 2012 at 5:08 AM“And the reality is that if I want to work uninterrupted, I have to wait for bedtime. I try to work my life around theirs instead of the reverse, otherwise we’ll all be miserable.” This is so powerful! This is my truth also. Our house is so full of life that I have to wait until every eye is closed before I can even focus.
Christine St.Vil
December 10, 2012 at 4:31 AMI hear you Uneeka! I’ve had to learn this lesson a few times. But it makes for a more peaceful mommy if I just focus all of my attention on the babies until they don’t need me to focus on them anymore 🙂