Why You Need to Choose Love – Especially Self-Love

Choose love, self-love, domestic violence

Self-love is something that took me many years to learn about and accept. I had been mistreated for so long I began to accept the negativity that I allowed myself to fall victim to. So many women across this world fall into this same trap but I’m here to tell you there can be happiness after domestic violence!

Grown boys

Grown men don’t put their hands on you and call that love. It’s abuse and you aren’t anyone’s punching bag! Women have to endure so much in this world and being brutalized and degraded shouldn’t be on the list. Grown boys (a term used by Tony Gaskins when talking about males over 18 who haven’t fully matured) will fall into this category, and we as women need to stay clear of them.

In my latest book The Single Woman Chronicles: God, Men and You I wrote about the grown boys I dated and also had children with. You see when you don’t love yourself and realize your worth, you will be misled into believing all men are good and if you are hit, it’s simply out of love.

What kind of love?

Takes your head and bashes it into walls? Puts a knife to your throat while you are holding their son? Wraps their hands around your neck and begins to choke you with hate in their eyes? What kind of love, chases you down and attempts to set you on fire?

Also Related: Taking the Time to Know & Love the Real You


“Today is a new day! Yesterday we may have made mistakes or didn’t quite get it right; but today we have the opportunity to change that”. ~Single Mom of Purpose

Change that

I shared the above quote in my book. Do you believe you can walk away from an abusive situation? You may think because he only verbalizes his dislike towards you that it’s not so bad. Do you want your children growing up seeing and hearing how you are being treated? Do you want them to accept that for their life? We as parents are to train up and teach our children how to act and treat others! Is that the behavior you want to teach them?

I am here to tell you that I left! I walked away with my life and it’s all because God had a bigger plan for my life. He saw and created something in me worth saving and He created you the same way! He designed you for a specific purpose! Don’t allow any man to take that away from you. Don’t allow any man to tell you that you don’t matter, that no one else wants you. Never allow any man to kick you to the ground while your children are there watching and crying.

You are a Queen

You deserve more! Deserve better! You are created to be loved, to be respected! You are created to shine, to be a Queen! Don’t let that situation dim your light. Don’t allow it to overtake you but walk away and allow love to take over. There is happiness after domestic violence but you have to want it!

Love is

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face.

Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love”. (1 Corinthians 13:4-13 NIV)

I hope you choose love, there is nothing better than real love.

What advice would you give a woman struggling to leave an abusive relationship?

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