So What if Your Spouse Doesn’t Support Your Vision?

Lisa Nichols 2 #getradical2013This past weekend, I had the pleasure of hearing directly from Lisa Nichols for the second year in a row at the Get RADICAL Women’s Conference presented by Doreen Rainey. Lisa Nichols is the definition of a giver and a server. She is a best-selling author, a popular speaker, a powerful coach and a charismatic teacher. She has reached millions, both nationally and internationally with her powerful message of empowerment, service, excellence and gratitude. Her transformational workshops have impacted the lives of over 210 thousand teens and over 1 million adults. And this weekend in a room of 500 women was no exception.

One of the amazing things that Lisa Nichols did this past weekend was open up her private suite to anyone who wanted to get some laser coaching or just come and hear from her, and how she can help their particular situation. She did this for us Saturday night as well as on Sunday afternoon after the conference had ended. She shared with everyone in the VIP breakfast on Sunday morning that someone had made this statement to her in the suite the night before: “My husband doesn’t support my vision”. Lisa’s response was, “He’s not supposed to, he’s supposed to be your husband. Let him be your husband. That’s your vision and not his.” She went on to explain that, “We want everyone to support our vision but we have to birth it first. Let him just be your husband right now because his role may be to just rub your feet when you get back home. Give him a break. Let him be your man. He didn’t know about all of this stuff when he said ‘I do'”[laughs]. The breakthrough for a lot of women was that it’s not their spouse’s job to believe and support a vision that they can’t even see for themselves.

Lisa Nichols #getradical2013Although I am blessed in that my husband supports my vision and my dream (even though there’s a lot he doesn’t understand), I immediately thought about a friend of mine who is on the opposite side of this coin. She is currently in a situation that is very much like the one that Lisa was referencing. Not only does her husband not support her vision or dream(s), but he discourages her, puts her down, and constantly criticizes everything that she does (regardless of if it has anything to do with the matter at hand or not). I’ve been trying to encourage and support her since she doesn’t get it at home, but this bold statement from Ms. Nichols definitely put things into perspective.

It was a reminder for me that even in my other relationships (family, friends, colleagues, etc.), there will always be people who don’t support or encourage my dream or my vision. But it’s up to me to simply let it go. It’s up to me to continue pushing, pursuing and pressing forward. It’s up to me to carry my own vision through the birthing process, instead of allowing others to keep me impregnated.

Do you agree with Lisa Nichols in terms of not trying to force your vision on your spouse? What are your thoughts and how do you deal with the negative people in your life?

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2 Comments

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    RADICAL Means Crazy, & CRAZY is a GOOD Thing! | Moms 'N Charge
    April 1, 2013 at 12:16 PM

    […] So What if Your Spouse Doesn’t Support Your Vision? […]

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    Liza B.
    April 2, 2013 at 7:52 PM

    I also attended the Get RADICAL conference and heard a similar message from another speaker there. This advice was incredibly freeing for me. I don’t think I was even conscious that I really cared about my husband’s support until I heard this message and thought back to how often resentment welled up inside me when he didn’t pull out the pom poms and cheer me on. It spoke to me greatly and released me from some disappointment. I had to change my mindset, not his. He worked within our very tight family budget so that I could attend the conference and receive much needed direction to move my vision forward. I had to see how he was helpful, instead of focusing on how he was not.

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