Father’s Day is supposed to be spent honoring all the men in our lives that have had a big impact on our lives. That includes biological fathers, step-fathers, grandfathers or any man who has stepped into that father figure role. Unfortunately, each year I see women posting on social media that they celebrate mothers and fathers day because they play the role of both but honestly no matter how hard we try, a mother can only be a mother. I understand how those women feel especially when the father is not involved. So what do you do when you’re a single mother and you’re not with the father of your kids and he’s not involved in his kid’s lives?
Here are a few tips I have used as a single mother:
Make It About The Kids
Being a daddy’s girl myself I know the importance of having that male figure constantly in your life. I grew up in a two parent home but unfortunately my kids have not, so I’ve done all I can to make sure the communication between my kids and their father is strong. Even in times when our relationship is not great I encourage my kids to honor their father by making gifts and cards to show their love and appreciation.
Also Related: Honouring Father’s Day For What It Should Be
Acknowledging The Father Doesn’t Take Away Your Position as a Mother
The first Father’s day we celebrated after our break up was a hard one. The kids had made their gifts and were praising their father but I was in the background bitter. I felt like, “why am I letting them celebrate him when I’m the one who gets up in the middle of the night when they’re sick, take off work when they need to go to the doctor and make sure they stay in one piece every day.” But I had to quickly lose that mentality and realize no matter what, I’m their mother and a darn good one at that. I’m not in competition with their father because he can never be me but I also can never be him!
Don’t Stress Over One Day
This one day shouldn’t make or break you as a single mother. We have so many other things that should take priority in our daily lives so why stress over the one day the government has deemed as a holiday? Mother’s Day is just one day but I feel like I should be appreciated every day. Just like a good father should be appreciated year round whether you are together or not. What I had to learn is just because he wasn’t a good mate for me doesn’t mean that defines the type of parent he is. I had to learn to keep my personal feelings separate from how I feel about him as a parent.
As a single mother, I’ve personally used these tips to help guide me through this day. I can’t deny my kid’s father his day, especially when he’s doing what he’s supposed to do.
What tips do you have for a single mother on Father’s day?