My children are three amazing little girls who have the most unique personalities.
My children are part of my motivation to keep trucking along this entrepreneurial journey.
My children are the inspiration for many of the decisions that I make for our family’s advancement.
My children are indescribable joys to my life.
My children are immaculate reflections of different parts of me.
My children are my super sweet spot.
My children are an interstate-long list of other wonderful things that I don’t have the time or energy to list. However, just as important as what my children are to me, is what they are not.
1. MY CHILDREN ARE NOT MY WORLD.
My three girls are an intricate part of my entire being. However, they are not my world, nor does my world completely revolve around their existence. Yes, there are definitely times when my world view adjusts to accommodate the needs of my little ones. But can you imagine if everything that I lived and breathed was based on my children? Outside of God, who is my everything, I cannot think of anyone or anything to characterize as my world. I don’t feel guilty about that either.
2. MY CHILDREN ARE NOT NUMBER 1 IN MY LIFE.
(And yours shouldn’t be either.) Giving my children the first position in my life means that I have removed my husband from his rightful place. It also suggests that my self-care is lacking. How can I possibly be anything that my offspring need for me to be if I am not taking exceptional care of myself first?
3. MY CHILDREN ARE NOT MY PURPOSE.
It absolutely pains me when I hear women pay tribute to their children by saying something to the effect of, “My child gave me purpose” or “When my daughter was born, I found my reason to live.” Do not get me wrong; I definitely think that children are one of the greatest gifts from God and bring a tremendous amount of joy to the lives of their parents and others. However, children do not give purpose. God does. I had a reason to live before I ever bore a child. According to scripture, before we were even a twinkle in our mother or father’s eyes, God had a purpose for our life. He had already set me apart to do great works.
4. MY CHILDREN ARE NOT MY BEST FRIENDS.
Best friends are the ones you share with when you are completely over it and your nerves have been tapped danced on all day. How can share that with the very ones who probably caused that state of mind?! Until my children are fully functioning adults, who are making meaningful contributions to society and themselves, we cannot be any type of friends and surely not the best kind. It is my job to train, mold and nurture so that they progress into upstanding citizens and women of integrity and class. So in the case of my three crumb snatchers, I am screaming louder than Drake himself. #NoNewFriends!
Also Related: My Kids are NOT My 1st Priority & Here’s Why
Some woman out there may be reading this in disgust, trying to fathom what type of mother I am. Well, let me clarify for you. I am the type of mother who is working to ensure that her children witness a loving and thriving marriage. I am the type of mother who will work just as hard at living on purpose and pursuing her own dreams as she would at pushing her girls to pursue theirs. I am the type of mother who refuses to befriend a child because she would much rather make a responsible human being than a 10-year-old friend. I implore you to become that type of mother too!
I talk in great depth about putting your children in their rightful place in your life in my new book, EmpowerMoments for the Everyday Mom. You can find it on Amazon by clicking here.
In the comments below, share the parenting style you find most effective.