6 Ways to Keep Love in Your Marriage Long After You Say “I Do”

I never used to understand what people used to say when they said things like, “It seems like just yesterday” or “I feel like we just started dating”, after being married for 10, 20, 30 plus years. But now that my husband and I will be celebrating our ten year anniversary tomorrow, I get it now.

I get it because I’m saying those same things. I get it because I wonder how I can fall in love with him over and over again after a decade of marriage and almost two decades of being in a relationship?

When I think about how it’s possible, it all boils down to one thing: communication. We haven’t quite gotten to the point of an argument-free marriage, but we are pretty darn close.

Over the years, I’ve learned that words truly do have power.

But even before your words are spoken, they are formed in your thoughts. So if you can control your thoughts, you can control your words which then become your actions and beliefs.

I remember when we got married and I said I couldn’t wait until we could celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary together.

When I think about the relationship I have with my husband, here are six ways to keep love in your marriage long after you say “I Do”.

1. Dream together

And dream often. My hubby and I are always talking about what we want to do, and where we want to be whether it’s tomorrow, next month or 5 years from now. It allows us to keep each other accountable to each other.

2. Respect each other enough to walk away

One of the things that I recently relearned is the importance of controlling my words. You’re always in power and in control of what you say, but you can never take back what was said. I’ve realized that it’s so much easier to walk away, than deal with the guilt of saying something that I will later heavily regret.

3. Talk about the difficult things

Have real conversations and have them often enough that they don’t make you uncomfortable talking about it. I’m the first person to always focus on the good, but I also know that we are not promised anything. So preparation is key for anything.

4. Laugh always

When you’ve been with someone for a long time, you have to find ways to keep things fun and exciting. My husband and I keep each other laughing and we genuinely have so much fun together! Laughter truly is the best medicine.

5. Same team, always

When you begin with the end in mind, you know that no matter what you go through, you will always be on the same side of the fence. When it comes to family, friends, children, remember that you are always one team with your spouse. There’s no trading teammates or quitting.

6. Faith and prayer

When all is said and done, faith and prayer will get you through anything. Even when you may have a difference of opinion, or not sure how you’ll get though something, prayer always changes things.

In what ways have you fallen in love over again with your spouse?

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18 Comments

  • Reply
    Karneisha
    September 16, 2015 at 12:54 PM

    Great tips! I am not married yet, but plan to instill these same values into my marriage whenever the time comes.
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  • Reply
    Kiwi
    September 16, 2015 at 8:17 PM

    No spouse yet but I love this post and a good one to go by for future references! I think words are power and the older I get the more I want to think long and hard before I say something when I am angry. Words hurt and people replay your words back to you over and over…power of the tongue is real.

  • Reply
    Nicole (Nicole's Lifestyle Lounge)
    September 17, 2015 at 8:55 AM

    Thank you so much Christine! Sometimes we do need the reminder.
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  • Reply
    Yaya
    September 17, 2015 at 9:53 AM

    I’m not married but faith and prayer are two of the most important things in a marriage. I really love your tip about dreaming together as well. I think if you don’t dream together then you could easily wind up wanting to go in two different directions. #blmgirl
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  • Reply
    Tyra
    September 17, 2015 at 10:05 AM

    These are so true! It is so important to be careful of what you say, and to be sure to laugh always. Great post!
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  • Reply
    Mimi "MimiCuteLips" Green
    September 17, 2015 at 12:31 PM

    Great tips, I emailed this to my Babe. This is a great read for all couples and for those looking for their special someone. These basic fundamentals are tried and true yet can be so hard some days.

    HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO YOUR AND MR. MOMSNCHARGE

    Ten years is a big deal!!!!
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  • Reply
    Aisha Johnson Adams
    September 17, 2015 at 6:58 PM

    Great post. My husband and I are working on our second year. I hope I am feeling that way when we get to 10 years. I love the advice. I take with me…
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  • Reply
    LaShon Renee
    September 17, 2015 at 7:01 PM

    Good communication and working together as a team are some of the keys to a long lasting marriage. It’s hard to stay on the same page if you don’t work together.
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  • Reply
    Ramona
    September 17, 2015 at 9:43 PM

    Great tips. I’m not married, but these tips are beneficial in other situations as well. Thanks for sharing!
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  • Reply
    Shawana
    September 17, 2015 at 10:48 PM

    Happy Anniversary! Great tips, unfortunately my marriage only lasted 7 years, but I’m in a good place. The tips you gave are vital to keeping a marriage healthy and strong, especially communication!
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  • Reply
    Bree
    September 17, 2015 at 11:20 PM

    I love this! I am not married but I am a licensed marriage and family therapist and I have discussed so many of these things with many of my clients. I really like your first tip dream together. Couples should motivate and encourage each other- personal dreams and dreams for the couple and/or family. This keeps things exciting and people invested. Definitely a great topic! P.S. Having a few arguments- I will read as disagreements- is not bad! It is actually healthy because you are not clones of each other, you have opinions, you are being honest about your perspective, and if done in a respectable manner, a compromise can emerge that is sometimes more worthwhile.

  • Reply
    Valerie
    September 18, 2015 at 6:00 PM

    I love this! We are at our 7th year of marriage and it is work, but worth it. Communication and respect are so important! Happy 10th anniversary guys!
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  • Reply
    Chasing Joy
    September 20, 2015 at 3:57 PM

    These are great tips. I think controling what you say is so important in all relationships. The more important the relationship the more you should be kind with your words and watch what you say.

    Great seeing you at Blogalicious. 🙂

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