Open Apology to My Black Husband

Posted on July 13, 2016
black husband

To my beautiful, strong, BLACK HUSBAND! I want to first start off with an apology. I am publicly apologizing for not respecting you when you deserve my respect and so much, more.

Watching the news over the last couple of days got me twisted, babe. I am going to say, I am even a bit ashamed of myself. Here I am, all emotional, tore up and angry because a police officer took yet another black man’s life. They not only had total disregard for our brothers’ lives, but they also had no respect.

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Immediately, God arrested me in my moment of disgust. He clearly showed me how I have been no different: I just didn’t use a gun as my weapon of choice.

Here I was indignant that these men were murdered, but I murdered your spirit with my hateful thoughts and words. Here I was pissed off that these men didn’t get a chance to speak for themselves, yet, I’ve walked away from conversations without giving you a chance to speak your mind.

Countless times, I immediately assumed the worst of you and in those moments, disrespected you with my words and actions. Oftentimes, I purposefully shut you down with my sharp tongue. Other times, I called you names, degraded you and even said things I knew would hurt you to your core. I was careless in how I treated you, I punished you with no sex, I embarrassed you in front of friends and family.

No-I didn’t use bullets to hurt and maim you, but my poison was just as damaging and deadly. 

So, TODAY, I pledge to honor and lift you up! I pledge to pray for you! I pledge to listen to your concerns, your hurts, your fears, without trying to FIX YOU! That’s not my job; my job is to love you unconditionally.

I pray that you will forgive me and that we can forge together to raise our BLACK SON to be a loving BLACK HUSBAND just like you.

black husband

Photo credit: LadyRedd Creations Photography

#BLACKLIVESMATTER #BLACKLOVEMATTERS

Tanya Barnett is a speaker, author and the “Real” Wife Coach. She is the author of Being a Wife Just Got Real: Things I Wish I Knew, Before I Said, I Do”. She founded the Real Wife Movement™, where she equips single and married women with tools to create strong marriages and families. She is also the founder of Forever Free Books, a mobile literacy nonprofit, which delivers free books and story time to low income children in their neighborhoods and communities. She is a marathoner, triathlete and a serious book lover. She and her husband, Don, have 3 awesome kids.

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5 Comments

  • Kristen R. Harris
    July 13, 2016 at 12:57 PM

    I absolutely LOVE this Tanya! The power of life and DEATH is right between our lips.

    • Tanya
      July 14, 2016 at 10:57 AM

      Girl, yes! God got me that day. I’m thankful though. I’m a better wife because of it.

  • Christine St.Vil
    July 15, 2016 at 12:51 AM

    Yessssss Tanya!!!! THIS right here is powerful!!! I can definitely relate. Thank you so very much for sharing!!!

  • Ayanna
    August 7, 2016 at 4:59 PM

    Thank you for this!! I needed this today. Truth and love.

    • Leave a Reply