Guest Post by: Cherrie Hughes
2012 was a year of many surprises. I am so grateful that the world did not end or that the Universe was not swallowed up into some mysterious Vortex as predicted by many superstitious and ancient tribes. But as December 21st came and went, I began to reflect on lessons/presents that 2012 gave to me. These are really simple lessons that I will carry with me when the clock strikes midnight and we enter the Year 2013.
Lesson #1: SHUT UP!
It doesn’t matter if I am right. I heroically confronted a close family member about a very disturbing situation. I suggested all the right things and used the appropriate clinical terms. I did what no one else in the family had the guts to do. As a result, this person has done everything they could to vilify my intentions and to isolate me from the rest of the family. At first, I was incredulous that not everyone could hear my valuable message. Then I realized that in fact sometimes the only person who might find my intervention valuable is me. And who knows? There might be many layers to this issue but the most important thing I know is that my sage advice/comments are not what was good for that moment.
Lesson #2: Revenge is either the best medicine, or what allows you to remain on medication.
I had a colleague at work blatantly take the credit for a project that I led that won a local and an international award. Since they claimed to do this they were asked to travel to accept the award on behalf of our Program. I tried to defend myself to no avail. I then concocted several revenge strategies. Clearly, I was angry and bitter. In some ways the anger and bitterness allowed me to feel temporary relief like an aspirin does until it wears off again. I couldn’t get my work done and the anxiety was heavy. I had to make another choice. So, one day, I decided to try forgiveness. I forgave myself, that person and the others. Day after day I said a prayer of forgiveness before entering into the office until one day I felt it all melt away. Anger and bitterness was replaced with compassion. As a result, I freed up that negative energy and was able to work on other Projects that received even more recognition than those earlier. Forgiveness and grace were the best cure. Grace allowed me to find positive ways to excel in other directions.
Lesson #3: Less is not more. Less is not less, it’s just enough.
I have everything I need and a lot of wants. It’s not less it’s just enough.
Lesson #4: HAVE FUN
Get drunk (not necessarily w/ wine but you can if you want), silly, stupid and giddy once in a while. Life is a gift and tomorrow is not promised. There are folks who didn’t make it this far but I did! That’s a call for celebration!
Lesson #5: Be kind always even when it just doesn’t feel good.
Not because the situation or person deserves it but because you deserve it! If you are kind to someone your energy increases while an unkind act can keep you stuck in that really bad emotion.
Lesson #6: Be Grateful.
Change the way that you look at things and the things you look at will change. – Wayne Dyer
Lesson #7: SLOW DOWN
I got a speeding ticket with Harper, my youngest daughter, in the car when she was 3 months old. The officer looked in my back window adoringly watched her cooing at him (seconds before, she was howling like the wind!). He then looked at me and said, ‘You should slow down. I would hate for you to think that there was anything more important or urgent than your Baby’s life…’ He then asked me why I was going 70 in a 45 zone and I had no answer. Sometimes we need to slow down. Yes, we are going to be late again. No, the kids are not moving fast enough and the Husband is dragging his feet but is the impatience worth it? Will it help anything or anyone?
Lesson #8: Push Your Limits
If you feel like you can’t go any further tap into your reserves and resources and push yourself a bit harder. In the end, you might just succeed at the ‘impossible’ or pick up some new skills. But no matter what – you will learn some really valuable and new lessons!
Lesson #9: LOVE
It is the overall theme of our entire lives and encompasses every area, corner, crevice, particle and nano fiber of our being. With it, we have EVERYTHING and without it, we have nothing.
Lesson #10: OOPS!!!!
This year I have learned that it’s okay to make mistakes. And it’s okay if others do as well. Perfection comes not from correction but from the Grace of true acceptance and love for our authentic self.
Lesson #11: Road Blocks are not hindrances, they are detours. Be Flexible!
So what if people or circumstances make it difficult for you to achieve your goals? Sometimes God is telling you to take another path. Don’t ever let anyone else’s jealousy, doubt, disbelief or fears stand in the way of your goals. Don’t give up! I just had an experience at work where people with titles put up every road block imaginable that slowed me down on a project. I had to figure out different ways to finish the project and those Detours that I took actually made the end result much better than even I could imagine.
Lesson #12: Ask for help!
Take off that Super-Heroine cape that you think others are expecting you to wear. Being vulnerable and human is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign that you are Human.
Lesson #13: Take off the Velcro! Pick yourself up and move on.
I met a woman who was angry, confused and reeling about the end of her relationship with her boyfriend. When I asked her how long it had been, she told me that it happened over ten years ago. Yes, people will disappoint. They might even betray you or even worse they might disrespect you in the worst ways possible. Take time to process, lick your wounds, learn the lessons and let go. Otherwise, you might be missing the amazing Blessings that are trying to manifest in your life. Keep moving!
So, with that I have shared my 13 lessons from 2012. There are many, many more but I figured 13 would be enough to symbolize the Year 2013. I must say that nothing and I mean nothing that I have done has been without plenty of prayer and meditation. Communion with God is what has helped me to take the necessary steps towards being better. I will continue to work on many of these lessons while working on a few others like organization, being Still, taking care of myself and being Present. I wish everyone a safe, prosperous and happy ‘guten Rutsch ins neues Jahr’ or a Happy New Year! I look forward to many new adventures and lessons in 2013!
What are some of the life lessons you’re taking with you into the new year?