This year my husband and I will be celebrating TEN years of marriage! OMG I get goosebumps and revert to my teenaged googly-eyed self just thinking about it. Now, our anniversary is not until September but that won’t stop me from counting down and just thanking God for covering us and protecting our union. Plus, ever since we showed our kids our marriage videos (which we watch every September), they ask so many questions about the day, and where they were, etc. LOL. My girls just saw my boxed up wedding dress for the first time and are now begging me to see my “crown” that I wore.
Marriage has been a blessing. And like any other marriage, it didn’t come without its’ ups and downs, challenges and obstacles. So here is my most recent article I shared on BMWK on 5 Things You Need to Let Go of In Your Marriage This Week.
Like most little girls, our two girls are especially head over heels in love with Frozen, one more than the other. So it’s no surprise that one of my daugther’s Christmas gifts was a Frozen radio/MP3 player combo. As if she wasn’t already doing it, they can now belt out the songs of her choosing. If it’s one thing I’m reminded of constantly (even more now that I have to listen to it several dozen times a day), it’s to simply “let it go“.
So it made me ask myself: What are some things that I needed to let go of in marriage?
We can’t always control what happens, but we can always choose to control our reactions to what happens. When things don’t go our way, or when we have a really screwed up day, it’s easy for that cloud to hang over our heads. Or worse, to take our external frustrations out on our spouse. But it’s up to us to choose not to allow our own thoughts to “ruin a good today by thinking about a bad yesterday”. The more you keep repeating to yourself to let it go, the easier it becomes.
So when it comes to marriage, here are 5 things you need to let go of in marriage today:
We all have an ego. And if you feel like you don’t, then you just might be the one that needs to let it go even more. When it comes to certain situations, we have to be willing to let go of our ego. Sometimes it’s hard to be told about ourselves, especially when it comes from those closest to us. Marriage for me has definitely been my own personal development course. I had to accept the fact that my husband has a right to not always agree with me, or to tell me when he’s upset about something I did, without me having a fit (or giving him the “oh no you didn’t” look).
2. Historical Arguments
Some things are hard to get over. And whoever invented the phrase “forgive and forget” surely didn’t know what that meant. Yes we should forgive regularly but that doesn’t mean that you don’t remember past pains and hurts. However, what it does mean is that once you’ve decided that you’ve hashed everything out and are ready to move on, that’s exactly what you do: move on and move forward. Continuing to bring up past arguments and hurts only works to escalate an argument and rarely ever does it help the situation.
3. Lack of communication
Don’t allow past arguments or disagreements keep you from sharing openly and honestly with your spouse. Don’t put your guards up based on how historical arguments ended up. Learn to trust your spouse completely and if it’s something important to you, then discuss it with them. Allowing it to fester, will only build up a wall over time. But remember to always be respectful and use discernment to figure out the best time/way to bring up a difficult subject.